


Metathesiophobia

by Adi



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, post-epsiode: The Changling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-15
Updated: 2003-03-15
Packaged: 2017-10-09 09:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adi/pseuds/Adi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You'll want to cry, but you won't, because he'll be happy and you'll want to be happy with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metathesiophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: The Changling.
> 
> Beta Thanks: Thank you Sel and Cassie for putting up me, my insistence for questionable grammar, and my repeated attempts at obtaining perfection.

You sit in some utilitarian quarters, on the bed, with your back facing the door. You want to hold him, to touch him, to tell him that it's alright, that everything is alright. You want to undress him, take off his shirt and kiss your way down his back like always. You want to undo his belt and hear the sound of it slipping off. Your fingers will fumble with the buttons and zipper, they always do, no matter how many times you do this, your desire to have him naked will cause you to fumble. You will wish he would laugh, but he won't, not this time.

You will want to see him the way you've always seen him, beautiful, the epitome of sexy. You will want your heart to skip a beat, as it always does when you first see him nude. You will want to feel the heat in your groin in anticipation of him, his fingers, his tongue, him. You will want him to be as he always was.

That's why you won't go to him. Not tonight, not tomorrow, because you know, you know that this time it will be different, and you can't stand the thought that you've lost something else. You have so few pleasures these days. You've given them up, one by one, as the job demanded. You never complained, and you never made the sarcastic remarks you wanted to when the Colonel tells you to relax.

You don't want to think about the Colonel now, though, you don't want to think about him either, but you have to. You have to because at one point you'll have to go see him, and you'll have to deal with the fact that it's different now. That it will be different from now on. You wonder how this could be hurting you so badly, when it's everything he's wanted since he came to your side.

No Primta, no Goa'uld larva, no naquada in his system. Nothing to make your blood tingle when you're near him. Nothing to make you know him from everyone else in the world. You'll feel empty then, your heart will skip a painful beat and you'll want to cry, but you won't, because he'll be happy and you'll want to be happy with him.

There's a knock on the door and you look up. You don't know who's there, but you don't really care, you don't feel up to company right now. The door opens anyway like you knew it would. It's him, you don't look up, but you know it's him. You wait for the emptiness, you wait for your heart to skip a painful beat, you wait for the burning of tears behind your eyes, tears you'll never shed because he's happy, and you should be happy with him.

No Primta, no Goa'uld larva, no naquada in his system, nothing to make your blood tingle when he's near.

But you know what? It does anyway.


End file.
